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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Day 9 - A hard Day

2:30pm - 203.5lbs

I hope it is good news....that I won't keep dropping 2lbs a day.

Class went well.  The sermon went well.  But I was tired.  Someone questioned my abilities to keep up with all my responsibilities being so lethargic.  I really appreciated that because 1. I know it was said in love, and 2. it made me reflect.  I haven't decided to quit the water-only aspect of my fast....yet.  I think there is something more for me to appreciate.  I am a sensitive person.  I don't like to let people down.  I want to meet expectations.  But I want to be pleasing first in God's eyes.  My prayer life has never been better, and I think I have been maintaining my responsibilities - although without the same pep.  So how much stock should I put in others critiques?

Maybe God wants me to get to a place where people are questioning me regularly and even criticizing me.  Maybe he wants me to learn perspective through my sensitivity.

Most everyone thinks they know best.  That is natural.  Its important for us to see the motives behind the skepticism.  Or lack of encouragement.  I've never had anyone question me who has participated in extended fasts.  To me that is interesting.  I've heard all kinds of reasons why people can't fast though.  Tons.  So far only two jive with me.  Pregnancy and Diabetes.  I know there are other medical conditions but I'm sorry, and I hope this doesn't sound negative....but because "I don't feel good when I don't eat" sounds like a lot like the person who says, "I don't exercise because it makes me tired."   I suspect it is hard for those who haven't ever fasted to realize the spiritual benefits and weigh them accordingly.

I have received an ABUNDANT amount of encouragement by the way.

Also, I don't expect this time to be my time of greatest ministry.  This time is to help me prepare for it.  God works in mysterious ways and I hope despite the lethargy I can do his will.  I keep reminding myself his power is made perfect in weakness.

Today I was pretty weak.  I hope and pray his power was being perfected.

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