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Thursday, March 3, 2011

Day 21

It has been told to me that my blindfold looks like a mini bra.  At least no one has told me "Boy, you have a panty on your head."  All these bra references have caused me to think about alternative ways to shield my eyes.  Maybe a scarf or bandanna.  A cool martial arts belt wrapped around my face and tied in the back.....something cool.  It would probably only be cool for as long as it would take me to go from a stationary state to a state of motion.  Shaun told me the other day that I remind her now of Malcolm...and not in the funny clever old man way but in the wobbly disoriented
A second difficulty about being blind is communication.  Although there are many wonderful folks who have been checking my texts and emails if you have been expecting a quick response you have been out of luck.  I want to call people.   I want to text....but can't usually manage it.  Nonverbal communication is gone.  Were you making a face at my idea or snickering at that suggestion?  I have no idea.  For all I know you are all silently laughing at everything I do.  Thats OK though......Because you can't tell when I am in my half dream state with eyes closed as you ramble on about some useless piece of information that doesn't really effect you emotionally or   You know I am just kidding.  Every word you share I go home and pray about...................................................
I wonder as I try to make this spiritual application for Sunday how similar this may be in our conversations with God.  Do you guys ever think that we miss our own God's nonverbal cues?  I mean, we are rambling on about what is important to the outcome of a sporting event all while we are driving down the road missing the majestic haze of a sun setting from crimson to pink fading into hues of blue?  Does he frown or look exasperated?  Idk.  I just wonder if maybe we are missing out on some things that could greatly enliven our talks.  Doesn't the psalmist say in 19 "the heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands?" Are we so caught up in the sound of our voice...that we can't hear his?  I have known a few people who struggle with this not to mention my own personal affliction..... :)
Its like tying to communicate solely through texts....You miss a lot of the sarcasm and irony unless the texter is especially articulate or clever or you just have such a good relationship that you know what they mean....
Maybe we don't always have the relationship with God that we think we do?  I am trying to listen better to what God might be telling me.  Its hard though because ultimately I just want to be heard.  Maybe the questions and pleas I bring before God would diametrically change if I knew what it was he was saying.......which goes to the age old I merely hearing God or am I listening to what he is telling me.?  Maybe a little be still and know God time might be a good compliment to my prayer time?  Maybe its necessary and vital.....even crucial component to being able to decipher the "non-verbals".

Have a Good Day

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