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Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 18

I don't know if this is related.....I wear my nose clip all day and when I get ready for bed at night I take it off.  I sleep like a baby.  Good sleep.  Is this simply a result of being able to breathe well?  I don't know.  Could it have something to do with the smell of my bed?  A familiarity with myself.  I don't really associate smells with my bed, although I have heard several people talk about how everyone has that unique scent and one's bedroom is the most noticeable place to pick up on it.  Maybe when I go to sleep at night I am reintroduced to myself in an important way.

This may sound like weird mumbo jumbo.  But have you ever stood in front of the mirror and looked yourself in the eye?  Sometimes the guy I see, seems a stranger.  I look at him and think, "Who are you?  What are you doing and why?  Where are you from?  Where are you going?  What do you want?"  There is an ominous disconnect.   Is it possible I really know so little about this man I see?  Its like that foreign scent someone is exposed to for the first time......not good or bad.....just alien.

Then there are other times I am all there is.  I am the sun.  All things revolve around me including God, family, and friends.  Things only have meaning through the lens which I see.   I recognize this smell well....yet its stale....and full of decay.

Finally, there is the smell of life and hope.  There are those times when the even the shadows of death only  beckon my thoughts to promises of God.  The sweaty bodies of mission workers riding back exhausted from a hard day of work.  The smell of age found with the compassion of health care providers in a retirement home.  These smells have associations for me.  Association with love.  You've probably heard of the connections smell has with memory and emotion.  I doubt anyone fully understands them but they undoubtedly exist.  So the question is......Can we smell God?  Is it possible to recognize his fragrance?  If God is love, and I can see myself through his eyes (or smell myself through his nose) it a fragrance I can distinctly recognize?  Does my life and identity pass the fragrance test?  In other words...can I smell him on me?  Self Identifying in this context is gratifying.  It recalls gratitude, mercy, and grace.

Thank you Lord for masking my scent with and through yours.

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