Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012 - End of Fasting
2011 was a blessing. Anytime one embarks on some new adventure there is a great deal of anxiety, excitement, uncertainty and anticipation. For me, this year certainly was all those things and more. I began last year battling with apathy and complacency. I begin this year renewed and refreshed. It may seem a great paradox how deprivation can be so rejuvenating. How can a lack of sleep bring rest? I don't think any of my fasts this year really taught me all that much in and of themselves. They were simply vehicles on my journey. They were the mechanisms that facilitated an ever changing progression toward my destination. My destination isn't some abstract and unchanging idea of a place I go when I die, its a certain reality that develops daily with each new encounter with the creator of all things.
Philippians 3:8 says, "8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ".
Eating, sight, money, sound, smell, technology, voice and legs have no value in comparison to knowing Christ. Its rubbish (without Christ). It really is.
Each fast represents something to me. Each fast helped me more fully understand this truth so plainly stated by Paul. God isn't the most important one. He is the only one of significance. He is all in all.
When I thought about what my final fast should be I wanted it to be something that could help me envision newness. I wanted it to be something that echoed new beginnings. For me that has always been the essence of my baptism and being washed clean from my sins.
So naturally the idea of washing was an appealing concept, and without it how dirty would I be?
So.....to make a long story short, I didn't shower for the last 40 days. Gross right? Well I did scrub down. Every two days or so I'd do the wash rag scrub. Every 10-14 days I'd wash my hair. Maybe it was a cop out, but it helped me appreciate nonetheless. I'm no rocket surgeon, but I have realized that its much better standing in the shower and allowing the Holy Spirit to cleanse me than doing it my imperfect self. Yet, it was powerful seeing the dirt that covered my body. How much more the spiritual dirt that soils our souls.
Everyone keeps asking me, which one was the most difficult. Its hard to say, but generally speaking, the fewer "concessions" I made, the more difficult each fast was. Eating, Sight, Speaking, and Walking were in order, the four hardest. Spending and Technology were the easiest.
I've thought how these might affect me in 2012 and have decided to incorporate some of these disciplines going forward. I do want to fast once a week, sun up to sun down, no eating. I also like the idea of a spending freeze for a month out of the year and occasionally taking a break from all electronic media. As the year has progressed I'm constantly struck by how easily I forget. But when I do find myself brooding over this or that little problem, the memory of that first taste after 40 days, that first sound of birds chirping, that first vision of a sunset, that first smell of fresh cut grass, all seem to sling me back into sense of gratitude more effectively than they ever did before.
I am thankful for this life God has given me. Today I resolve to revel in each moment. I will learn to abundantly appreciate each tomorrow my Lord chooses to give me.
Hope you all are doing great!!
Merry New Year!!!!
Philippians 3:8 says, "8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ".
Eating, sight, money, sound, smell, technology, voice and legs have no value in comparison to knowing Christ. Its rubbish (without Christ). It really is.
Each fast represents something to me. Each fast helped me more fully understand this truth so plainly stated by Paul. God isn't the most important one. He is the only one of significance. He is all in all.
When I thought about what my final fast should be I wanted it to be something that could help me envision newness. I wanted it to be something that echoed new beginnings. For me that has always been the essence of my baptism and being washed clean from my sins.
So naturally the idea of washing was an appealing concept, and without it how dirty would I be?
So.....to make a long story short, I didn't shower for the last 40 days. Gross right? Well I did scrub down. Every two days or so I'd do the wash rag scrub. Every 10-14 days I'd wash my hair. Maybe it was a cop out, but it helped me appreciate nonetheless. I'm no rocket surgeon, but I have realized that its much better standing in the shower and allowing the Holy Spirit to cleanse me than doing it my imperfect self. Yet, it was powerful seeing the dirt that covered my body. How much more the spiritual dirt that soils our souls.
Everyone keeps asking me, which one was the most difficult. Its hard to say, but generally speaking, the fewer "concessions" I made, the more difficult each fast was. Eating, Sight, Speaking, and Walking were in order, the four hardest. Spending and Technology were the easiest.
I've thought how these might affect me in 2012 and have decided to incorporate some of these disciplines going forward. I do want to fast once a week, sun up to sun down, no eating. I also like the idea of a spending freeze for a month out of the year and occasionally taking a break from all electronic media. As the year has progressed I'm constantly struck by how easily I forget. But when I do find myself brooding over this or that little problem, the memory of that first taste after 40 days, that first sound of birds chirping, that first vision of a sunset, that first smell of fresh cut grass, all seem to sling me back into sense of gratitude more effectively than they ever did before.
I am thankful for this life God has given me. Today I resolve to revel in each moment. I will learn to abundantly appreciate each tomorrow my Lord chooses to give me.
Hope you all are doing great!!
Merry New Year!!!!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Day 39 - Looking up
Most of you will not be able to relate to what I am about to say. I spend most of my life looking down on people. Now some of you may be thinking, "Well of course Danny! Your arrogance.....and exaggerated sense of superiority are way out of control!" This may be, you simpleton, but if you know me personally, you understand my double entendre. After all, I am pushing 6'6". Therefore in virtually every conversation, I find myself looking down.
Its not something I think about much. I've just always been tall. As one of the biggest kids in elementary school, I usually got picked first for kick ball. I usually was "rewarded" the coveted and prominent back middle position in all my elementary school photos. Even today,when I'm in big groups, my friends don't really have to designate a geographical meeting point. I am the ever moving banner around who we can congregate. I can then look over and down on the masses to find our lost sheep. Did I already say I have a big head? lol. Looking down has always been ingrained in me. Of course there were adults and there was also my late growth spurt. But generally speaking, from the age of 15 my gaze has continued to be drawn downward. There may be some weird psychological things associated with this, that are seriously distorting my self perception.
A few years ago I was with one of my good friends Russ Davis. I can't remember where, I just remember we were standing in front of a mirror. I could not believe how big a difference there was in our heights! He's not 7'2" bye the way. Anyways....it was a weird moment. I had known Russ for years, and I had always felt we were basically the same physically. I mean I knew I was taller...of course. But it didn't mean anything to me until I saw us standing there next to each other.
For me, there isn't really much of a different between 5'8" and 6' 2". They both fall into the category of "shorter than me".
You may be asking yourself why I'm telling you this. Well, let me tell you. The last 39 days I've had numerous conversations seated in my wheelchair. Thus, I've spent more time looking up at people than I ever have before. I can't explain why, but there is a profound difference. It goes beyond an altered physical perspective. There is something about the physiological posture that is affecting me spiritually. In a word, its humbling. Not self debasement. Its humbling in a wonderfully appreciative way. Its humbling in a confidently deferential kind of way. Its humbling in a contented way. Its nice looking up to others.
I saw this guy one time get up in front of the church to pray. Everyone knows the normal way to pray. You must bow your head, demonstrating the proper level of contrition. Who doesn't know this? Anyways, that's not what this guy did. When he started praying he looked straight up! (I know I was supposed to have my eyes closed). Anyways, I've been wondering about that moment over the last few weeks. Didn't that guy know God is everywhere? After all, God is just as much below as he is above. What does he see when he looks up? Did he expect to see God more clearly with his eyes on the church ceiling? Then I got to thinking. Is the bowing of our heads for God's benefit or ours? Does the creator of heaven and earth care which way we are looking? And I came to the conclusion.....I don't think so. I started wondering if there was power in the posture. Is there a substance of deeds that enfleshes faith? Although I do believe there is power in the perspective.....which posture often reflects, can posture affect perspective?
For me, the posture of "looking up" seems to . With head and eyes up, I more readily realize my need of others and recognize their concern for me. I'm able to appreciate my position, not in isolation, but in terms of my relationship with them and with God. Looking up signifies not so much where I am, but to whom I am going. There is something very spiritual in this simple physicality.
Tomorrow my wheeling days are over....., blessed strolling begins again. I just hope despite tomorrow, my eyes will lift... and focus ascend.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Day 34- Questions and observations
Over the course of this experiment I have been left with some lingering questions......
1. How do handicapped people get in and out of the car? (I have been standing up and slinging my wheelchair in the bed of my truck). Evidently they custom make cars/mini vans for the wheelchair users. Hand controls, access ramps, they have it all. You can wheel right into the car and position yourself right behind the steering wheel. Pretty cool.
2. How does wheelchair basketball work exactly? More specifically how do they dribble and wheel at the same time? I thought they must have a special wheel chair. When I researched this I found that although they do use a different type of chair, there are some rule differences.....no double dribble, and traveling is pushing your wheel more than twice without dribbling.
3. Why does sitting in a wheelchair make children want to sit in your lap? I know I'm a pretty lovable guy but I'm quite sure I didn't have this constant a barrage of kiddies crawling all over me. Maybe its the novelty. Maybe its accessibility...easier to climb..???
4. How much does the average manual wheelchair cost? Would you believe $500?!! That makes my 40 dollar investment seem like a steal. (Electric wheelchairs cost thousands!)
5. How many folks worldwide use wheelchairs? 500,000. I would have thought with 7 billion people this would have been much higher.
Today at church, I thought about some of the benefits and difficulties of moving in a crowd. As the services were finishing, I wanted to get to the back to meet this guy that had been visiting. The problem is you can't just weave through a group of people in a wheelchair. You have to wait for some space. Sometimes people just don't realize, but if I want bye, I have to either be patient or beep beep folks out of the way. Well, I didn't want to do either because he might get out before I could catch him. So, while the closing announcements were being made I started slowly inching back toward the rear. Almost unnoticeable.....I eased on back....ninja like...couldn't have done it quite so stealthily on my own two legs.
Gravel is the kriptonite of wheelchair movement.
Its nice people getting things for you all the time.
I think it might be easier to be handicapped if your were small. People could easily carry you all over. Not so easy when you are 6'6" and weigh 205 lbs.
My beard is just as itchy walking or wheeling.
1. How do handicapped people get in and out of the car? (I have been standing up and slinging my wheelchair in the bed of my truck). Evidently they custom make cars/mini vans for the wheelchair users. Hand controls, access ramps, they have it all. You can wheel right into the car and position yourself right behind the steering wheel. Pretty cool.
2. How does wheelchair basketball work exactly? More specifically how do they dribble and wheel at the same time? I thought they must have a special wheel chair. When I researched this I found that although they do use a different type of chair, there are some rule differences.....no double dribble, and traveling is pushing your wheel more than twice without dribbling.
3. Why does sitting in a wheelchair make children want to sit in your lap? I know I'm a pretty lovable guy but I'm quite sure I didn't have this constant a barrage of kiddies crawling all over me. Maybe its the novelty. Maybe its accessibility...easier to climb..???
4. How much does the average manual wheelchair cost? Would you believe $500?!! That makes my 40 dollar investment seem like a steal. (Electric wheelchairs cost thousands!)
5. How many folks worldwide use wheelchairs? 500,000. I would have thought with 7 billion people this would have been much higher.
Today at church, I thought about some of the benefits and difficulties of moving in a crowd. As the services were finishing, I wanted to get to the back to meet this guy that had been visiting. The problem is you can't just weave through a group of people in a wheelchair. You have to wait for some space. Sometimes people just don't realize, but if I want bye, I have to either be patient or beep beep folks out of the way. Well, I didn't want to do either because he might get out before I could catch him. So, while the closing announcements were being made I started slowly inching back toward the rear. Almost unnoticeable.....I eased on back....ninja like...couldn't have done it quite so stealthily on my own two legs.
Gravel is the kriptonite of wheelchair movement.
Its nice people getting things for you all the time.
I think it might be easier to be handicapped if your were small. People could easily carry you all over. Not so easy when you are 6'6" and weigh 205 lbs.
My beard is just as itchy walking or wheeling.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Day 29 - Aching
My knees are aching. I know this is not uncommon. Many of us ache when injuries occur. Blunt force trauma, breaks, cuts, tears. My knees are aching to walk, to run, to stretch. They are aching because of inactivity. I so desperately want to go for a jog. I'm bored. I'm blessed. Even when I do my best, I'm left longing for better things. I can't wait to once again revel in the blessings God has given me. But why can't I now? I guess I can. I just forget.
Its a strange thing to ache to do something. We all desire. We all have wants and needs, but I want to walk. Is it too much too ask? Although I know its not true, I feel that if I could just get up and take a stroll I would be utterly satisfied. I feel like I would never have another desire if this one dream is fulfilled. When I stretch my legs around the block, I will again hop, skip, and jump....but not now. Now is the time to appreciate what I have. Yet now is not what I fixate on. I fixate on my hopes. I hope things will be better even when they aren't bad. Why? I'm not sure.
I've given up seven different things. From these I've learned that there are at least 7 things I value, some more than other. I've learned that none of these are worth a hill of beans without God. How empty would life be without him? I can't imagine. I can't imagine constantly chasing after the next best thing when the one good thing was sitting right in front of me. Deep, I know. But true. Its nice tapping into that truth. My boredom will last for another 20 minutes till I find something to do. My blessings will last forever.
Its a strange thing to ache to do something. We all desire. We all have wants and needs, but I want to walk. Is it too much too ask? Although I know its not true, I feel that if I could just get up and take a stroll I would be utterly satisfied. I feel like I would never have another desire if this one dream is fulfilled. When I stretch my legs around the block, I will again hop, skip, and jump....but not now. Now is the time to appreciate what I have. Yet now is not what I fixate on. I fixate on my hopes. I hope things will be better even when they aren't bad. Why? I'm not sure.
I've given up seven different things. From these I've learned that there are at least 7 things I value, some more than other. I've learned that none of these are worth a hill of beans without God. How empty would life be without him? I can't imagine. I can't imagine constantly chasing after the next best thing when the one good thing was sitting right in front of me. Deep, I know. But true. Its nice tapping into that truth. My boredom will last for another 20 minutes till I find something to do. My blessings will last forever.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Day 26 -Wheeling in the Dark
Warning: there is no real point to this short story besides....the little discoveries of life are quite enjoyable.
Most times in the past I would simply sigh, turn the kitchen lights back on, and go turn on the lights making the path to my bedroom. Then I would backtrack to the kitchen, turn off the lights in reverse order, leaving each room behind me in darkness. Its kind of like painting yourself into a corner with darkness. Not a lot of work, but when you're feeling lazy, even the smallest tasks seem large. So what do I do? Normally there is a big downside to following the lazy route. Many of you have experienced this. Its the infamous stumped toe. I hate them, and because I am as clumsy as the next person with larger than normal feet, I am often smashing them (Thus birthing my long pre-sleep light path routine). Anyways, my time in darkness, earlier this year has greatly alleviated this fear. I now walk in darkness with much more confidence. I now have in my arsenal a plethora of anti - toe stubbing techniques. Still the worry remains.............anyways to make a short story long, I chose the lazy way..........and discovered something amazing.
Wheeling in the darkness is much less dangerous than walking in the darkness! Why? well let me illustrate.
You guys ever see someone kick field goals using the straight toe style? Almost no one does anymore. They actually makes shoes for this. Anyways, this is the way my dad used to kick field goals. Straight on. Straight toes. The problems is, that if you aren't wearing the correct shoes, and when you are kicking a coffee table leg and not a football, this can be quite painful. I found wheeling in the dark is much more like sliding into second base.
With your feet out, toes pointing to the sky, any foreign objects unexpectedly making contact with your feet, are harmlessly absorbed in the way God intended....without pain. Let me tell you this was quite the revelation.
This may not be a big deal. It may not ever significantly affect anyone but me. It will only save me a few seconds every few nights. Yet, it still made me smile to think about. I hope it does you too.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Day 20
A couple observations from the last week.
1. I can't believe I have not run over my toe even once.
2. I can't believe how cute my niece and nephew are.
3. I can't believe how much Stormy, Windy, and Ashley (three little girls I pick up for church) can distract me on Sunday morning. During services, during the lesson. They were fighting over who got to ride in the chair. David Fields was speed wheeling them all over the place. Normally I don't think they'd care to "ride" in a wheelchair. It just goes to show how much fun PEOPLE can make THINGS to be.
4. Everyone is nicer to you when you are in a wheelchair. They are always getting doors and smiling. Its pretty cool. I bet this works pretty good at the amusement park.
When you give something up....like walking, its hard not to make exceptions ALL the time. Its hard not to justify and rationalize into ever increasing license. Sin can creep into our hearts in a very similar way. A little, then a lot.
I love teaching high school students about the Bible. Most of them don't know much. Some of them know next to nothing. Yet they understand the important stuff of what the Bible speaks to and who it speaks of. They see inconsistency and ask good questions. They tend not to be judgmental and are generally open minded. Most love people who do things like sitting in a wheel chair for a month. They soak up praise like a sponge. They have not forgotten ....like so many adults...what its like to be loved and cherished and adored.
I'm starting a whisper campaign that's made all the more easy now that I can see eye to eye with some of the elementary school kids. I try to whisper the big secret, "I think you're wonderful." every chance I get. You have to furtively look around a lot to make sure they know how big a statement it is. "You are amazing", "You're my favorite", or "You are perfect" also work well.
We had so much fun at trunk or treat last Wednesday. I got some cool ideas for next year. A "Hall o Lu" seems like a fun play off of hallelujah. Maybe we could call it something new. I just don't think the kids care much about the name if they are getting candy. Some of the costumes were pretty scary.....
I am still upset I didn't shave my head and try to be Professor X.
I made my first trip to the grocery store this week. Thanks Shea. Grocery stores sure are easy to roll around in with a wheelchair. Next time I'm going to try one of those motorized little carts they have.
I walked a little again this Saturday. I've been stretching so I wasn't nearly as sore today as I was last time but my knees are achy.
Hope you guys are doing well. I'm off to do some babysitting.
1. I can't believe I have not run over my toe even once.
2. I can't believe how cute my niece and nephew are.
3. I can't believe how much Stormy, Windy, and Ashley (three little girls I pick up for church) can distract me on Sunday morning. During services, during the lesson. They were fighting over who got to ride in the chair. David Fields was speed wheeling them all over the place. Normally I don't think they'd care to "ride" in a wheelchair. It just goes to show how much fun PEOPLE can make THINGS to be.
4. Everyone is nicer to you when you are in a wheelchair. They are always getting doors and smiling. Its pretty cool. I bet this works pretty good at the amusement park.
When you give something up....like walking, its hard not to make exceptions ALL the time. Its hard not to justify and rationalize into ever increasing license. Sin can creep into our hearts in a very similar way. A little, then a lot.
I love teaching high school students about the Bible. Most of them don't know much. Some of them know next to nothing. Yet they understand the important stuff of what the Bible speaks to and who it speaks of. They see inconsistency and ask good questions. They tend not to be judgmental and are generally open minded. Most love people who do things like sitting in a wheel chair for a month. They soak up praise like a sponge. They have not forgotten ....like so many adults...what its like to be loved and cherished and adored.
I'm starting a whisper campaign that's made all the more easy now that I can see eye to eye with some of the elementary school kids. I try to whisper the big secret, "I think you're wonderful." every chance I get. You have to furtively look around a lot to make sure they know how big a statement it is. "You are amazing", "You're my favorite", or "You are perfect" also work well.
We had so much fun at trunk or treat last Wednesday. I got some cool ideas for next year. A "Hall o Lu" seems like a fun play off of hallelujah. Maybe we could call it something new. I just don't think the kids care much about the name if they are getting candy. Some of the costumes were pretty scary.....
I am still upset I didn't shave my head and try to be Professor X.
I made my first trip to the grocery store this week. Thanks Shea. Grocery stores sure are easy to roll around in with a wheelchair. Next time I'm going to try one of those motorized little carts they have.
I walked a little again this Saturday. I've been stretching so I wasn't nearly as sore today as I was last time but my knees are achy.
Hope you guys are doing well. I'm off to do some babysitting.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Day 13 - Soreness
Yesterday I got a call from an old friend. Ken was a student in the campus ministry when I arrived at Clemson 11 years ago. Now Ken is a doctor with his own practice in Chattanooga, TN. Clemson had a football game so we planned to get together for dinner after the traffic died down. When I got to the church, Ken called and said they were still windowshopping and wanted to know if I could meet them downtown. I knew parking would be rough so I decided to walk. This was by far the most I had walked in 12 days. Maybe half a mile round trip. Up to this time the most I had walked was from my truck to the door of someone I was doing Bible study with or a Meals on Wheels recipient. I knew it might be difficult.......but it was so nice stretching the legs and strolling around! I took my time and enjoyed it. And then this morning came, and my calves felt like they had been put through a grinder. After only 11 days, a 1/2 mile walk left me aching. Can you believe that? A little inactivity left me seriously debilitated. lol. Its crazy how quickly we lose the things we don't use.
For the last couple weeks I have not been praying like I should and have suffered for it spiritually. I looked down at my skinny legs today and realized that any where I want to go in this life, and I mean who I want to be, who God wants me to be, these legs are not going to get me there. I prayed for God to take me where my strength, my will and my effort will always fall short. I want to walk to the spiritual mountaintop. I know it involves me. Its just not something I can do on my own. I started realizing there are a lot of spiritual muscles I've probably not exerted in some time. I started wondering if there was such a thing as spiritual soreness. I would guess so. Some aches and pains always accompany growth and conditioning. Its a good sore though. Its the kind of sore when you know you are better off than you were before; the kind of sore you know will eventually pass. I believe God has something incredibly special in store for me. I don't know why I believe that. I just do. And if I'm going to be ready to take advantage of his blessings I've got a lot of stretching and straining to do. I need to prepare. I'm now wondering if these great blessings God is wanting to give have been delayed until I was ready. He doesn't want me to fail any more that I do. Don't get me wrong, I already feel blessed beyond measure. Its just I think there may be something new I have just begun to fathom. I don't know. I guess I will just have to wait and see.
Hopefully next week my knees will be as sore as my calves are today.
Well hope you are doing well. I pray your walk with him has been glorious this week!
For the last couple weeks I have not been praying like I should and have suffered for it spiritually. I looked down at my skinny legs today and realized that any where I want to go in this life, and I mean who I want to be, who God wants me to be, these legs are not going to get me there. I prayed for God to take me where my strength, my will and my effort will always fall short. I want to walk to the spiritual mountaintop. I know it involves me. Its just not something I can do on my own. I started realizing there are a lot of spiritual muscles I've probably not exerted in some time. I started wondering if there was such a thing as spiritual soreness. I would guess so. Some aches and pains always accompany growth and conditioning. Its a good sore though. Its the kind of sore when you know you are better off than you were before; the kind of sore you know will eventually pass. I believe God has something incredibly special in store for me. I don't know why I believe that. I just do. And if I'm going to be ready to take advantage of his blessings I've got a lot of stretching and straining to do. I need to prepare. I'm now wondering if these great blessings God is wanting to give have been delayed until I was ready. He doesn't want me to fail any more that I do. Don't get me wrong, I already feel blessed beyond measure. Its just I think there may be something new I have just begun to fathom. I don't know. I guess I will just have to wait and see.
Hopefully next week my knees will be as sore as my calves are today.
Well hope you are doing well. I pray your walk with him has been glorious this week!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Day 6 - Walking by Faith
I was thinking how many songs/hymns/scriptures have to do with walking with God. Yeah though I walk through valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil....I know walking with God doesn't necessarily mean "WALKING" but when you're skoot skootin around in a wheelchair the idea of strolling along with God, stretching the legs, exerting the muscles,........well that sounds significantly sweeter today than it did a week ago.
I know most of you have heard of Team Hoyt. If not you need to check out their website http://www.teamhoyt.com/. Its the story of a father and son who run through life together.
I know most of you have heard of Team Hoyt. If not you need to check out their website http://www.teamhoyt.com/. Its the story of a father and son who run through life together.
The Father (Dick), loves to run because it brings such joy to his son (Rick) who can't. Yet they share the experience together. I realized today how much joy the "shared experience" is and how much joy my experiment has brought me. I wheeled over to my Monday Bible study today with Faye. She has MS and is always in her wheelchair. I could stand anytime I wanted. She could not. Yet we both sat and wheeled around the room. We talked and opened our Bibles to study together. We have been doing this for years. We have been doing this long enough to become comfortable with and often confide in each other. We had a shared history.
I think God would love for us to share our experiences/history with him as well. He wants to share in our joys and bring comfort in our failures. He wants to heal our hurts and exalt in our triumphs. We talk about a relationship with God. Maybe the problem we have with prayer is not our willingness to talk. Maybe its our lack of shared experiences to talk about.
I had to walk a little today to do my Meals on Wheels route. The only thing that hurt was the bottoms of my feet. A teensy bit unsteady at first but not much. We'll see how that might change in about three weeks. lol.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Day 2 - Almost really needing a wheelchair.
Yesterday my friend Shea picked me up to go eat lunch with another friend Jay. After scooching into her truck, we discovered my door wouldn't shut. Slam the door, Slam, Slam, Slam.....nope that's not going to work. It looked like the latch in the door was caught and wouldn't disengage. We decided I would just hold it shut until we got to the restaurant. Well a wrong turn and 3/4 U turn into oncoming traffic later and I realized the pretend need for a wheelchair and the actual need weren't that far apart.
Anyways, wheeled right into Fatz and had a great meal. I think people might be nicer to you when they think you can't walk. People were getting doors and chumming it up with me pretty well.
Have you ever ran out of gas 20 feet from the pump? I hadn't either but Shea managed it today. lol. I think she had mixed emotions. It may have been like when I left my wallet in Wal Mart with 100 bucks. Someone benevolently turned it in with 20 dollars. Kind of thankful. Kind of irritated.
A sweet lady from church brought me a little bicycling mechanism so I can exercise my legs a little and not get atrophy. My plan is not to "walk". I have stood up a couple times. I needed to walk for about 20 feet today once to meet Mary for a bible study, the second to get the Myers clan for church. I wheeled out to the van, threw the chair in the back and walked to the drivers seat.
(spending 10 minutes scooching in the passenger side and trying to pull the chair in after me= utter failure)
I'm sure if anyone saw me it would have been a great laugh.
Anyways, at church, the kids loved wheeling me around. It is the first experiment that all the kids were envious of. Everyone under the age of 10 wanted a "ride". They also all wanted a turn pushing me around. I was happy to oblige. I might be sick. I definitely can't sleep. Regardless of these slight inconveniences .........Overall a good day.
Anyways, wheeled right into Fatz and had a great meal. I think people might be nicer to you when they think you can't walk. People were getting doors and chumming it up with me pretty well.
Have you ever ran out of gas 20 feet from the pump? I hadn't either but Shea managed it today. lol. I think she had mixed emotions. It may have been like when I left my wallet in Wal Mart with 100 bucks. Someone benevolently turned it in with 20 dollars. Kind of thankful. Kind of irritated.
A sweet lady from church brought me a little bicycling mechanism so I can exercise my legs a little and not get atrophy. My plan is not to "walk". I have stood up a couple times. I needed to walk for about 20 feet today once to meet Mary for a bible study, the second to get the Myers clan for church. I wheeled out to the van, threw the chair in the back and walked to the drivers seat.
(spending 10 minutes scooching in the passenger side and trying to pull the chair in after me= utter failure)
I'm sure if anyone saw me it would have been a great laugh.
Anyways, at church, the kids loved wheeling me around. It is the first experiment that all the kids were envious of. Everyone under the age of 10 wanted a "ride". They also all wanted a turn pushing me around. I was happy to oblige. I might be sick. I definitely can't sleep. Regardless of these slight inconveniences .........Overall a good day.
This will be me by the end of this 40 days!!! lol.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Day 1 - Me and my Wheelchair
I found this sweet wheelchair at salvation army. Now of course sweet simply means "my first wheelchair" since I know absolutely nothing about them (which I will get to later). I had goofed around on them at various elderly homes I visited over the years. Wheelies and speed racing, you get the picture. This wheelchair doesn't have mold. It is skinnier than others I've seen, and it is black. Thus it is super cool. Only slightly less cool than this......
Not quite as heavy though. No problem, as long as it rolls! I took the feet rest off.......no way they would stretch out far enough for my long legs. I then started my in house practice runs. It took me about 3 minutes before I almost flipped over backwards! I discovered late last night that my 1929 home may be one of the most inaccessible handicap facilities in America. I have all these 2 inch lips from room to room.
I was trying to get over one of these lips by leaning back while simultaneously rolling forward. Bad move. That's when my roommate pointed out the breaker bars on the back of the chair. I don't know if that's what they are called but they are specifically made to keep you from flipping over backwards. Good to know.
I have stairs out my front and back doors positioned in such a way making it impossible to get out much less get down. Crap. What am I going to do now? I sat there thinking about this for awhile. Finally, I thought maybe if I could open the door and build up enough speed maybe I could propel myself out the door down the stairs.
NO good. Ummm....I could back up over the stairs but those little breaker bars didn't look like they could hold that much weight. I finally decided to go out to the shed and get some two by fours. I laid them under the stairs to stagger the drop. I almost fell over but it worked.
I'm not going to bore you with details but my hands are sore, my arms are sore, my thighs are sore. This handicap thing is no easy gig. Oh and it was raining today. It took me about 3 minutes to get from the steps to the car, 5 minutes from the car into the church. Robert picked me up. David dropped me off.
Things I learned today that I will describe later in more detail.
1. Its hard to stop a fast moving wheelchair on wet asphalt.
2. Before making wheelchair purchase check to see if it pulls hard to the left.
3. Going to the bathroom takes technique.
4. Before starting wheelchair experiment, remember to move necessary dishes to lower shelves (good thing for go go gadget arms).
5. Our office area at the church is the second most inaccessible building in the U.S.
6. I really really really really really really really like to walk.
Not quite as heavy though. No problem, as long as it rolls! I took the feet rest off.......no way they would stretch out far enough for my long legs. I then started my in house practice runs. It took me about 3 minutes before I almost flipped over backwards! I discovered late last night that my 1929 home may be one of the most inaccessible handicap facilities in America. I have all these 2 inch lips from room to room.
I was trying to get over one of these lips by leaning back while simultaneously rolling forward. Bad move. That's when my roommate pointed out the breaker bars on the back of the chair. I don't know if that's what they are called but they are specifically made to keep you from flipping over backwards. Good to know.
I have stairs out my front and back doors positioned in such a way making it impossible to get out much less get down. Crap. What am I going to do now? I sat there thinking about this for awhile. Finally, I thought maybe if I could open the door and build up enough speed maybe I could propel myself out the door down the stairs.
NO good. Ummm....I could back up over the stairs but those little breaker bars didn't look like they could hold that much weight. I finally decided to go out to the shed and get some two by fours. I laid them under the stairs to stagger the drop. I almost fell over but it worked.
I'm not going to bore you with details but my hands are sore, my arms are sore, my thighs are sore. This handicap thing is no easy gig. Oh and it was raining today. It took me about 3 minutes to get from the steps to the car, 5 minutes from the car into the church. Robert picked me up. David dropped me off.
Things I learned today that I will describe later in more detail.
1. Its hard to stop a fast moving wheelchair on wet asphalt.
2. Before making wheelchair purchase check to see if it pulls hard to the left.
3. Going to the bathroom takes technique.
4. Before starting wheelchair experiment, remember to move necessary dishes to lower shelves (good thing for go go gadget arms).
5. Our office area at the church is the second most inaccessible building in the U.S.
6. I really really really really really really really like to walk.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Day 40
Well the silence is over!!!!!! AT LAST!!!!! FREE AT last!!!! This 40 may have been the toughest, even though I made more exceptions in this stretch than I have for any other. I like to talk. I enjoy being heard. Even though I am naturally introverted, being able to speak and connect with folks is a blessing I will hopefully NEVER take for granted. I am thankful for you voice.
Silence observations.......if Jesus sought it, we can bank on it being good for us as well. Silence sets the mood. One of my good friends loved the joke, "You know how we know there won't be any women in heaven?". "No.", I said. "Revelation 8:1 says, 'When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.'" He loved that joke. As an 82 year old man telling it from the pews in the middle of worship service, it brought down the house. All I know is there is indeed something heavenly about the occasional silence. There is a holiness that can dwell in that space that cannot dwell anywhere else. I kind of like the meditative tradition we have in our communion service. I don't think the communion time has to be quiet time. Yet quiet time is reflective time, important for us in our spiritual mindsets. It allows a holiness to rest specially on the temporal space we designate for the Lord's supper.
Now its time to stop walking. Ugghh.. I am excited and dreading it. I love to walk. I need to find a good wheelchair. That is my goal for tomorrow so I can start this experiment come Tuesday. Goodwill purchases and pharmacy rentals will be my focus. I have no idea how much they will cost. I suppose I'll need something for the shower as well. I'm worried I'm going to have to go to the bathroom and not be able to make it in time. I plan on doing some leg stretches and exercise to fight atrophy. My goal is not to walk, so I may still drive if I can figure out how to get in and out of the car with the wheelchair. I guess we will see. I'm sure there will be some interesting stories to share. Anyways. Hope you are all doing well. I have several people I need to call in the next couple days. Its been so long since I've been on the phone.
So long kiddos.
Silence observations.......if Jesus sought it, we can bank on it being good for us as well. Silence sets the mood. One of my good friends loved the joke, "You know how we know there won't be any women in heaven?". "No.", I said. "Revelation 8:1 says, 'When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.'" He loved that joke. As an 82 year old man telling it from the pews in the middle of worship service, it brought down the house. All I know is there is indeed something heavenly about the occasional silence. There is a holiness that can dwell in that space that cannot dwell anywhere else. I kind of like the meditative tradition we have in our communion service. I don't think the communion time has to be quiet time. Yet quiet time is reflective time, important for us in our spiritual mindsets. It allows a holiness to rest specially on the temporal space we designate for the Lord's supper.
Now its time to stop walking. Ugghh.. I am excited and dreading it. I love to walk. I need to find a good wheelchair. That is my goal for tomorrow so I can start this experiment come Tuesday. Goodwill purchases and pharmacy rentals will be my focus. I have no idea how much they will cost. I suppose I'll need something for the shower as well. I'm worried I'm going to have to go to the bathroom and not be able to make it in time. I plan on doing some leg stretches and exercise to fight atrophy. My goal is not to walk, so I may still drive if I can figure out how to get in and out of the car with the wheelchair. I guess we will see. I'm sure there will be some interesting stories to share. Anyways. Hope you are all doing well. I have several people I need to call in the next couple days. Its been so long since I've been on the phone.
So long kiddos.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Day 33
Matthew 12:36-37
36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Our words are powerful. What we say makes a difference. Yet, holding our tongue, may be even more significant. What we don't say may be even more important than what we do.
Yesterday I went to an older lady's home to help her with some chores. She made me lunch and then began a mostly one sided conversation.....lol. Somehow she started talking about politics and espoused some beliefs that I certainly don't agree with. I just listened. I wasn't angered nor did I feel a particular desire to engage in any sort of debate. I was content just listening and hearing her perspective. After listening for a while I had to excuse myself and be about some other activities. I received a text from her shortly afterwards apologizing for her political polemic. Of course I told her "no worries". It really wasn't a big deal. Yet, it got me thinking. I have never had anyone apologize to me after sharing their views whether religious, political or otherwise. Could it have been the lack of response that resonated with her? Maybe. But I am becoming convinced about how powerful silence and the peace that often accompanies it can be.
Last night I watched my Clemson Tigers move to 5-0 on the year. I was so into this game. I wanted to scream at the refs, but couldn't. I wanted to complain but couldn't. Even though I could make some signs of disgust, being upset was unsatisfying. Celebration however was a different story. I high fived, ran around, pumped my fists, jumped up and down. It was gratifying. Now maybe these reactions were simply a result of the athletic outcome. Or maybe they speak to something else. Maybe they speak to nature of silence. I've never really thought of it as a conduit before but now I'm seeing things differently. In silence my perspective is framed distinctly. I think about and process things differently. Is this worth saying? Is it worth the effort? How can I write a thought in a few words that I normally would've expressed with many?
It is fascinating. I love preaching and teaching now more than I ever have before. I cherish my designated moments of "exception".
Every word is precious.
Our words are powerful. What we say makes a difference. Yet, holding our tongue, may be even more significant. What we don't say may be even more important than what we do.
Yesterday I went to an older lady's home to help her with some chores. She made me lunch and then began a mostly one sided conversation.....lol. Somehow she started talking about politics and espoused some beliefs that I certainly don't agree with. I just listened. I wasn't angered nor did I feel a particular desire to engage in any sort of debate. I was content just listening and hearing her perspective. After listening for a while I had to excuse myself and be about some other activities. I received a text from her shortly afterwards apologizing for her political polemic. Of course I told her "no worries". It really wasn't a big deal. Yet, it got me thinking. I have never had anyone apologize to me after sharing their views whether religious, political or otherwise. Could it have been the lack of response that resonated with her? Maybe. But I am becoming convinced about how powerful silence and the peace that often accompanies it can be.
Last night I watched my Clemson Tigers move to 5-0 on the year. I was so into this game. I wanted to scream at the refs, but couldn't. I wanted to complain but couldn't. Even though I could make some signs of disgust, being upset was unsatisfying. Celebration however was a different story. I high fived, ran around, pumped my fists, jumped up and down. It was gratifying. Now maybe these reactions were simply a result of the athletic outcome. Or maybe they speak to something else. Maybe they speak to nature of silence. I've never really thought of it as a conduit before but now I'm seeing things differently. In silence my perspective is framed distinctly. I think about and process things differently. Is this worth saying? Is it worth the effort? How can I write a thought in a few words that I normally would've expressed with many?
It is fascinating. I love preaching and teaching now more than I ever have before. I cherish my designated moments of "exception".
Every word is precious.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Day 26
Two weeks left. One of the greatest blessings of the last few weeks is the time spent writing. It has been such a joy to write and encourage people about the wonderful gifts God has bestowed. My goal has been 2/day. I put my hand over each card praying for words for each person I care so dearly about. I pray for words of encouragement and exhortation. I don't know how successful its been from the recipient point of view, but for me its been heavenly.
The other great joy has been during my "exceptions". I love to talk. Since my conversation is so limited both in time and subject matter, I have found myself reveling in those moments of verbal expression. They are moments I can now cherish and not regret. They are now holy moments and no longer common. They are special. They are unique. As the sheer volume of my words has decreased, the power of them has been amplified. Can you imagine what it is like to actually think about everything you say before you say it?
I was thinking of the story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery in John 8. Don't you love Jesus' response when all the self righteous legalists brought this poor woman to him? They were looking to accuse. They were hoping to entrap and ensnare. When they ask for his verdict, what is his response (at least initially)? Silence..................................... How profound is that? Writing in the sand, he doesn't react to their prompts. He takes his time. I wonder what effect that silence.............................had on everyone. They are emotional. They are ready to debate. They are itching for an argument. And what does Jesus do? He soothes the situation. He diffuses ......preparing them to receive what he is about to say, by saying nothing. Jesus knew what he was doing.
I am an uncle again! Liza Mae, weighing 9lbs 3oz, measuring 21 inches long, didn't say a word. She may have cooed at little. But when I saw the perfect beauty of God's design in her little mouth, fingers, and toes, I heard God. There was nothing audible, but He most definitely spoke of his new little cutie patootie creation and said, "It is good!"
The other great joy has been during my "exceptions". I love to talk. Since my conversation is so limited both in time and subject matter, I have found myself reveling in those moments of verbal expression. They are moments I can now cherish and not regret. They are now holy moments and no longer common. They are special. They are unique. As the sheer volume of my words has decreased, the power of them has been amplified. Can you imagine what it is like to actually think about everything you say before you say it?
I was thinking of the story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery in John 8. Don't you love Jesus' response when all the self righteous legalists brought this poor woman to him? They were looking to accuse. They were hoping to entrap and ensnare. When they ask for his verdict, what is his response (at least initially)? Silence..................................... How profound is that? Writing in the sand, he doesn't react to their prompts. He takes his time. I wonder what effect that silence.............................had on everyone. They are emotional. They are ready to debate. They are itching for an argument. And what does Jesus do? He soothes the situation. He diffuses ......preparing them to receive what he is about to say, by saying nothing. Jesus knew what he was doing.
I am an uncle again! Liza Mae, weighing 9lbs 3oz, measuring 21 inches long, didn't say a word. She may have cooed at little. But when I saw the perfect beauty of God's design in her little mouth, fingers, and toes, I heard God. There was nothing audible, but He most definitely spoke of his new little cutie patootie creation and said, "It is good!"
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Day 22
Well .....half way home.... and there are several observations I would like to share.
1. Generally, although guys more often express "envy" of what I am doing, they are usually more uncomfortable trying to communicate with me via my slower mediums
2. Girls conversely, often say something like "That would kill me. There no way I could go without talking". Yet they seem most understanding and patient with my experiment.
There are some big exceptions to rules 1 and 2 above.
3. I've probably been taking too many siesta's from this experiment. I need to do better. It is a great thing though to have to continually ask yourself, "Is this worthy of opening my mouth?"
4. I can waste just as much time or be just as productive, silent or talking.
5. Candace is horrible at reading lips.
6. The convenience of drive thru's being removed my diet has gotten better.
I was quite excited and encouraged by a good friend of mine who said she's been applying this fast to her mornings. She doesn't say a word until she drops the kids off at school. She told me it has helped her stress level tremendously. I like that I am introduced by my friends as a. my preacher who is doing this interesting fast. b. my idiot brother who cannot speak.
Blessed are those who call on the name of the Lord. If the only thing I use my mouth for is uplifting and encouraging....all the better.
Its funny when folks talk louder or slower or reach to grab my dry erase board when they want to tell me something.
1. Generally, although guys more often express "envy" of what I am doing, they are usually more uncomfortable trying to communicate with me via my slower mediums
2. Girls conversely, often say something like "That would kill me. There no way I could go without talking". Yet they seem most understanding and patient with my experiment.
There are some big exceptions to rules 1 and 2 above.
3. I've probably been taking too many siesta's from this experiment. I need to do better. It is a great thing though to have to continually ask yourself, "Is this worthy of opening my mouth?"
4. I can waste just as much time or be just as productive, silent or talking.
5. Candace is horrible at reading lips.
6. The convenience of drive thru's being removed my diet has gotten better.
I was quite excited and encouraged by a good friend of mine who said she's been applying this fast to her mornings. She doesn't say a word until she drops the kids off at school. She told me it has helped her stress level tremendously. I like that I am introduced by my friends as a. my preacher who is doing this interesting fast. b. my idiot brother who cannot speak.
Blessed are those who call on the name of the Lord. If the only thing I use my mouth for is uplifting and encouraging....all the better.
Its funny when folks talk louder or slower or reach to grab my dry erase board when they want to tell me something.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Creative Prayer
A good friend recently recommended a book to me. Its called Creative Prayer: Speaking the Language of God's Heart. So far ...incredible. I wish I'd read it before my sermon Sunday. He asks, "If we were summoned to the Oval office to present our agenda for the country, would we spend any time to prepare? To measure our words carefully to make sure they were appropriate? To express them in the most memorable way possible, so they'd linger in the mind of the chief executive? Of course we would." He then goes on to argue that our difficulty in prayer often stems from lack of preparation and creativity. We don't engage our five senses and our enormous imaginative capabilities when we go to our father in heaven. That resonated with me.....so I tried it some today.
As I prayed I swayed. I prayed some contemporary Christian songs. I prayed outside in the in the midst of his heavens and earth. Breathing in and out I imagined God breathing into me the breath of life. I vocalized God's blessings. It was an incredible day.
It has got me excited to try new things. We are made in the image of a creative God. We are reflecting his nature when we express ourselves imaginatively. I wouldn't consider myself creative according to ordinary classifications. Art, I like it. Music, got the radio on all the time. Interpretive dance, no. Yet in the art of living.....Yes, I think I am. And I think all of us are capable of painting artistic masterpieces on the canvas of life. We all have the ability of Mozart, Michelangelo, and Da Vinci. It may never be recognized by anyone other than God, but who cares? Isn't there a spark within us all that intuitively tells us God has crafted us especially according to his design? We are all special and unique and each exceptionally designed to commune with God in extraordinary ways. Think about it. Most of us, as believers, wouldn't argue that we are all unique. If we accept that, why would we reasonably feel the need to clone our prayers? And if you want to reference the Lord's prayer I would argue there is a world of meaning between what we should pray and how we should pray.
When you tell a story do you try to keep it as monotone as possible? Why not? Its not nearly as interesting for you or the hearer. Maybe it is time we stop lifting up our one dimensional prayers, putting on our thinking caps and revel in new ways to tell our Father about our day.
We guys, so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen goodbye
As I prayed I swayed. I prayed some contemporary Christian songs. I prayed outside in the in the midst of his heavens and earth. Breathing in and out I imagined God breathing into me the breath of life. I vocalized God's blessings. It was an incredible day.
It has got me excited to try new things. We are made in the image of a creative God. We are reflecting his nature when we express ourselves imaginatively. I wouldn't consider myself creative according to ordinary classifications. Art, I like it. Music, got the radio on all the time. Interpretive dance, no. Yet in the art of living.....Yes, I think I am. And I think all of us are capable of painting artistic masterpieces on the canvas of life. We all have the ability of Mozart, Michelangelo, and Da Vinci. It may never be recognized by anyone other than God, but who cares? Isn't there a spark within us all that intuitively tells us God has crafted us especially according to his design? We are all special and unique and each exceptionally designed to commune with God in extraordinary ways. Think about it. Most of us, as believers, wouldn't argue that we are all unique. If we accept that, why would we reasonably feel the need to clone our prayers? And if you want to reference the Lord's prayer I would argue there is a world of meaning between what we should pray and how we should pray.
When you tell a story do you try to keep it as monotone as possible? Why not? Its not nearly as interesting for you or the hearer. Maybe it is time we stop lifting up our one dimensional prayers, putting on our thinking caps and revel in new ways to tell our Father about our day.
We guys, so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen goodbye
Friday, September 9, 2011
Day 10 - Speaking
One or two other advantages of not speaking I have gleaned. 1. When communicating via eraser board it is OK to "talk" with you mouth full. 2. You have by default more time to think about what you say before saying it. 3. You learn the value of the economy of words.
Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
I think its important for your conversation to be full of grace. I read recently that the average person speaks about 16,000 words/day! How much grace do you think it takes to fill 16,000 words. Methinks a lot! How many of those words tend to be idle? How many hurtful and destructive?
If everyone could utter 16,000 grace filled words a day, this world would be a better place. Words of grace are kind, compassionate, and generous. They are given with love. Seasoned with salt, to me, implies an intellect at the disposal of such love. One can say something lovingly from their heart. That's great. Yet to say something so it will be understood as loving, is to speak grace filled words seasoned with salt.
Its interesting how these words of encouragement are framed as a response....."so you will know how to answer everyone." Responding to someone implies interaction. There is connection. If we just talk to someone......that connection is not necessarily present.
I've been trying very hard for my words to find a voice of their own. I want my written words to convey me well. Who I am and what I think. Its tough. In some ways this has been harder than any of the others. Yet one thing has become abundantly clear. It is a wonderful blessing to have a voice.
Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
I think its important for your conversation to be full of grace. I read recently that the average person speaks about 16,000 words/day! How much grace do you think it takes to fill 16,000 words. Methinks a lot! How many of those words tend to be idle? How many hurtful and destructive?
If everyone could utter 16,000 grace filled words a day, this world would be a better place. Words of grace are kind, compassionate, and generous. They are given with love. Seasoned with salt, to me, implies an intellect at the disposal of such love. One can say something lovingly from their heart. That's great. Yet to say something so it will be understood as loving, is to speak grace filled words seasoned with salt.
Its interesting how these words of encouragement are framed as a response....."so you will know how to answer everyone." Responding to someone implies interaction. There is connection. If we just talk to someone......that connection is not necessarily present.
I've been trying very hard for my words to find a voice of their own. I want my written words to convey me well. Who I am and what I think. Its tough. In some ways this has been harder than any of the others. Yet one thing has become abundantly clear. It is a wonderful blessing to have a voice.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Day 5/6 Speaking
One of my favorite passages of scripture is Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." I have found adhering to this much easier when I am limited talking to and about God. Its actually been a great tool I hadn't counted on.
For example, on Monday and Thursdays I do Meals on Wheels. One of the college students, Candace, often goes with me on Mondays. She is very talkative in general and would have been more comfortable than most creatively finding a way to have a mostly one sided conversation. However, when she found out I could talk about Godly things, that is exactly what we did. Now its not as if we normally only talk about ungodly things, but there is a significant difference between football and faith.
That is the positive side. The negative side has been just as beneficial. On Sunday I got aggravated at an individual. Not an uncommon occurrence any day of the week. I wanted so bad to talk to some other folks about this individual but couldn't. See, I have this bad habit of cloaking my motivations. I have this ability to vent about people while carrying on a semblance of care and concern for them. Really what I want to do is complain. Not healthy. There is a time and place to address faults and grievances yet I've found that it generally needs to be addressed to the given individual.....not others. Kind of a Biblical concept, eh? Well anyways. This is a learning process for sure. Just loving that I can do something like this. Thankful for the ability to tell those around me how much I care about them. Grateful I can lift up songs of praise to my God.
For example, on Monday and Thursdays I do Meals on Wheels. One of the college students, Candace, often goes with me on Mondays. She is very talkative in general and would have been more comfortable than most creatively finding a way to have a mostly one sided conversation. However, when she found out I could talk about Godly things, that is exactly what we did. Now its not as if we normally only talk about ungodly things, but there is a significant difference between football and faith.
That is the positive side. The negative side has been just as beneficial. On Sunday I got aggravated at an individual. Not an uncommon occurrence any day of the week. I wanted so bad to talk to some other folks about this individual but couldn't. See, I have this bad habit of cloaking my motivations. I have this ability to vent about people while carrying on a semblance of care and concern for them. Really what I want to do is complain. Not healthy. There is a time and place to address faults and grievances yet I've found that it generally needs to be addressed to the given individual.....not others. Kind of a Biblical concept, eh? Well anyways. This is a learning process for sure. Just loving that I can do something like this. Thankful for the ability to tell those around me how much I care about them. Grateful I can lift up songs of praise to my God.
Friday, September 2, 2011
day 2 - Speaking
Well, made it through 2 whole days without saying an extraneous word. Quite the accomplishment if I do say so myself. No lies, exaggerations, excuses, or feet in mouth. I did accidentally say something to Darlene when she came into the office today. Just forgot. I prayed with my friend Amanda. I read my memory verses out loud. I laughed, and sang some hallelujahs.
I also got this man that came to church today for some help to call someone and pretend he was me.
Here are some observations....
1. Going through the drive-thru is much more difficult.
2. If you point at your throat and don't speak everyone automatically assumes laryngitis.
3. Thumbs up and thumbs down have become the two most important gestures in my vocabulary.
4. Helping move big furniture without being able to speak is dangerous.
5. Its fun trying to communicate with a dry erase board.
6. I stink at charades.
7. Its harder memorizing when you can't vocalize.
8. I felt myself not making as good eye contact with people because I knew they would be more likely to speak to me and I wouldn't be able to respond well.
9. I'm texting like crazy.
10. I'm trying to figure out how to communicate with my Granny who doesn't text or email. (may have to do some letter writing)
11. Silent speaking helps a lot. Most folks can lip read a word or two.
Its tough. You don't appreciate the power of a word until you do without it. I mean the Lord spoke each day of creation into existence so even a human word must have some significance. I've noticed the void left by my silence although awkward, has left room for some other folks to share things they might otherwise not have done. I can easily monopolize conversations talking about me things. I'm hoping if I don't have anyone else to cordially chit chat with, that it will help me appreciate and look forward to my chitchat time with God.
I also got this man that came to church today for some help to call someone and pretend he was me.
Here are some observations....
1. Going through the drive-thru is much more difficult.
2. If you point at your throat and don't speak everyone automatically assumes laryngitis.
3. Thumbs up and thumbs down have become the two most important gestures in my vocabulary.
4. Helping move big furniture without being able to speak is dangerous.
5. Its fun trying to communicate with a dry erase board.
6. I stink at charades.
7. Its harder memorizing when you can't vocalize.
8. I felt myself not making as good eye contact with people because I knew they would be more likely to speak to me and I wouldn't be able to respond well.
9. I'm texting like crazy.
10. I'm trying to figure out how to communicate with my Granny who doesn't text or email. (may have to do some letter writing)
11. Silent speaking helps a lot. Most folks can lip read a word or two.
Its tough. You don't appreciate the power of a word until you do without it. I mean the Lord spoke each day of creation into existence so even a human word must have some significance. I've noticed the void left by my silence although awkward, has left room for some other folks to share things they might otherwise not have done. I can easily monopolize conversations talking about me things. I'm hoping if I don't have anyone else to cordially chit chat with, that it will help me appreciate and look forward to my chitchat time with God.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Day 41 - the end and beginning
Yesterday I finished by 40 days of silence. When I took my ear plugs out and began my day, there were several things that were apparent. First , I heard the creaking of the floor under my feet, the brush of my clothes as I slipped them on, the hum of the water out of the faucet, wind outside blowing through the trees, my feet scrunching through the leaves, the cars swooshing by my front door, the handle of my car door as I opened it up, the creak of the cart walking into walMart. I could hear people's little side conversations from 30 feet away. My car roared! I thought something was wrong with it. There were a hundred little things I noticed that I'd left forgotten over the last 40 days. It was nice. Nice being able to soak it all in. These were just the little things. What would absolute silence have been like?
I taught, talked, listened and functioned as I normally do, although a little hampered.
Tomorrow, things are about to change radically.
Tomorrow no speaking.
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
I want to explore being slow to speak in a whole new way. I would like to drastically cut down on my chit chat. If any of you have ever read Chapman's Love languages books you know about the five different ways we process/receive love. I am a words person. If someone tells me they love me, that's good enough for me. Quality time, acts of service, affection, and gifts are all secondary. Since I am a words person, I have a tendency to put more value in words as I interact with others. This probably feeds my constant disclaimers, explanations, and equivocations. To have these taken away, would severely dampen the way I express myself and interact with others. There is nothing wrong with this per se, except all this is usually centered around me, not God. This is about my focus.
Therefore this is what I am going to do. For the next forty days, I am not going to speak to/with anyone unless it is a prayer (to God), or a word (about God). No more small talk. We will see how it goes. Already some of the ladies and kids at church are scheming how to break me. I've told them exclamations don't count so if they want to be successful they have to be sly, not sadistic. lol. I guess today I will get some cards made up, explaining my situation, or maybe I will just pretend to be dumb. Maybe the slowed down process of writing things out for people will cure me of foot in mouth disease. We will see. It should be a fun adventure.
Oh, and I'm still trying to figure out where I stand on baby talk.
I taught, talked, listened and functioned as I normally do, although a little hampered.
Tomorrow, things are about to change radically.
Tomorrow no speaking.
James 1:19
I want to explore being slow to speak in a whole new way. I would like to drastically cut down on my chit chat. If any of you have ever read Chapman's Love languages books you know about the five different ways we process/receive love. I am a words person. If someone tells me they love me, that's good enough for me. Quality time, acts of service, affection, and gifts are all secondary. Since I am a words person, I have a tendency to put more value in words as I interact with others. This probably feeds my constant disclaimers, explanations, and equivocations. To have these taken away, would severely dampen the way I express myself and interact with others. There is nothing wrong with this per se, except all this is usually centered around me, not God. This is about my focus.
Therefore this is what I am going to do. For the next forty days, I am not going to speak to/with anyone unless it is a prayer (to God), or a word (about God). No more small talk. We will see how it goes. Already some of the ladies and kids at church are scheming how to break me. I've told them exclamations don't count so if they want to be successful they have to be sly, not sadistic. lol. I guess today I will get some cards made up, explaining my situation, or maybe I will just pretend to be dumb. Maybe the slowed down process of writing things out for people will cure me of foot in mouth disease. We will see. It should be a fun adventure.
Oh, and I'm still trying to figure out where I stand on baby talk.
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